S06 - 3 Complaining

Native English speakers answer exam-style questions about complaining.

Today we have American speakers from the Texas, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire and New York, and we also have speakers from Limerick, in Ireland, and Chester, in England. Trevor picks out the best bits and gives useful tips for exams. As usual we have plenty of top vocabulary, phrasal verbs and idioms.

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Music: Wholesome by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5050-wholesome
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Real Exam English podcast, this episode is about complaining. This is a quite a common exam topic. It may come up as a speaking task in the form of a monologue or a dialogue, or indeed you may have to describe photos of people complaining. On top of that, some exams ask you to do a letter of complaint, and it may appear in the reading or listening too. So definitely a good one to cover. Today we have American speakers from the Texas, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire and New York, and we also have speakers from Limerick, in Ireland, and Chester, in England. As usual we have plenty of top vocabulary, phrasal verbs and idioms. So let’s kick off with the first question:

What's something people often complain about these days?

Higher prices of things. Politics, one way or another. Jobs. Yeah, those things.

Alright, all legitimate things to complain about but if I were an examiner I would complain about the length of the answer. It’s too short isn’t it, too undeveloped. How could we flesh it out. Something like: There’s a bunch of stuff really. One thing that you often hear people moaning about is the higher prices of things. We have this cost-of-living crisis right now and you’re getting less bang for your buck. On top of that, politics, as always, is a hot topic. People are constantly sounding off about one side or the other, but they’re both just as bad as each other if you ask me. 

Alright, so something like that would be better, add a bit more detail, as well as vocabulary if you have it. By the way, the two synonyms I used for complaining were moaning and sounding off about. Other ones are whinging, whining, bitching, grumbling, there’s loads. In fact, we’ll hear a few more later on. 

Why are some cultures more direct than others when it comes to complaining?

Again, I would actually fall back onto the work of Edward Hall when he talks about high context culture and low context culture. And that's really, really sort of one of the founding principles is this idea that some cultures rely heavily on context clues and indirect communication and things like that. It's highly contextualized the message and that you really have to read the room, so to speak. And then that's sort of opposed to low context cultures where being explicit, being direct is very important and very key. And you can see that in, you know, when you work with people from different, different places, that that is a modus operandi.. People are very feel very comfortable going bald on record, saying something, you know, either a complaint or delivering, perhaps less than good news. Setting the record straight, pointing out something that is a mismatch or something that's not aligned, where other cultures need to just as accurately convey dissatisfaction without actually going on record saying those things. So it's sort of interesting. I always love to see those kind of things.

What is the last thing you complained about?

The last thing I complained about. I mean, that's a loaded word. I mean, you know, the last thing I was, like, disgruntled about and sort of made a face. Does that count as a complaint? Probably not. That probably doesn't count as a complaint. But the last thing I complained about. I can't really remember.

Disgruntled about, I love that, meaning angry about, or dissatisfied or unhappy. When you make a note of new vocabulary like this, guys, make sure to write it with the preposition too. It’s much easier to remember them together than to later on try to recall what the preposition was. So, people who would typically be disgruntled are employees, customers and maybe supporters of a sports team. As an example, my job involves dealing with disgruntled clients all day.

The first answer, then, was loaded with top-notch language. Firstly, we had a phrasal verb to fall back onto the work of Edward Hall. So this means to refer to his work and to rely on it. In general, to fall back on mean to depend on something, often as a last resort. Another example would be, if I can’t remember how to use the new phrasal verbs in the exam I can fall back on the ones I learned last year. 

After that she used this idiom to read the room. This means you gauge the atmosphere in the room, to make note of the emotions or moods of the people and then adjust what you do depending on that. For instance, a funny joke popped into my head at the funeral but reading the room, I decided it wasn’t the best moment to tell it. Or as a teacher you need to read the room and decide which activities are most likely to work and which ones won’t. 

Next, we had this lovely Latin phrase modus operandi, which is the particular way that you do something, your mode of operating, so to speak. For example, the bank robbers changed their modus operandi when they realised the police were investigating them. 

Then we had these three different phrases with the word record. The first was going bald on record. This means speaking really directly and bluntly. Like – give me the ketchup, this dinner is disgusting, have that report on my desk in an hour.  Ok, so no effort to soften the language at all. Next up was setting the record straight, which means to make sure people know your true view on things. Imagine people are speculating about an actor taking on a role in a movie, he might set the record straight by confirming he is not going to take the part. And lastly, we had to go on record, which is to confirm your opinion or position to everyone in a way that is clear and documented, like maybe it’s been recorded somewhere or written in an email. As in, the boss went on record to say he was thinking of selling the company.

Top expressions those, really nice! 

Is it possible to express dissatisfaction without sounding rude?

See, as a Brit, it's a hard one that because my wife, who's Hungarian, she comes across as very rude, but all it is, she's just dissatisfied with certain things. And like she speaks her mind. So for example, we're at a restaurant, I don't like the food. I'm going to complain now and it's going to come across as rude. But she won't see it like that. She's like, no, you've paid for a service, get it. And I'll just be like, no, that's fine, I'll eat it. Do you know what I mean? And that's another culture thing comes into it as well. Like, I don't know. I'm very, I get her to like even taking things back to the shops. Like refunds at the shops and stuff like that. I won't go in. I can't deal with that. Like you go in and sort that out. I'm staying outside.

How has social media changed the way people complain about companies or public services?

Massively, hasn't it? If anything, it's a massive tool nowadays. Like, we won't go anywhere unless it's got, I say we won't go anywhere. My wife will do research in places like restaurants and stuff like that and to check the reviews out on social media and stuff like that to see if it's even worth going there. So it's massively impacted us because as where normally we would just like go in there, try it. If you didn't like it, would never come back again. Now we can get it up on our phone, find out if we're going to like it, see what the menu is. Okay, we're not even going to try that because it's only got two stars. Let's go somewhere that's got five stars. 

Ok, here is a classic example of what the previous speaker was talking about with two different cultures with different modi operandi. He said that his wife can come across as rude to British people. We’ve had this phrasal verb before, to come across as + an adjective, meaning to give the impression of being something. Like come across as being brave, come across as nice. Similarly, he said his wife speaks her mind, meaning she lets everyone know what she thinks, even if it they may not like what she has to say. Ok, this is such an interesting cultural difference, that in the UK they are not so direct when complaining or voicing their disapproval and if you are from a country that is more direct, then you may need to take this into account when interacting with British people, whether on holidays there, or in business or whatever.

We then had a couple of phrasal verbs. Firstly, he said another culture thing comes into it, meaning another culture thing is a relevant factor. A good example of come into it would be, I worked hard to get this job, luck doesn’t come into it. 

Next, we had to get the reviews up on his phone, meaning to access and display the reviews on his phone. In a similar way you can say to pull something up on your phone, or your computer, like I’m trying to pull up my flight details on my laptop, or pull up the spreadsheet and we can look at it together. These are good examples of how new phrasal verbs can be formed over time, computers and phones are relatively new inventions and already have their own phrasal verbs, so for all you phrasal verb lovers out there the future is bright, the list will keep on growing!

If you would like to learn some more beautiful phrasal verbs, like these, then why not check out my application for learning English. Each week covers a new vocabulary topic and gives a list of phrasal verbs, idioms and adverbs that are suitable for talking about that topic. You get the chance to implement them in the form of a daily and weekly challenge, and you get feedback from your AI coach on your performance and progress. If that sounds like something that would be useful for you then check out the link in the shownotes, or go to studio.com/realexamenglish

Do you think people today complain more than previous generations?

They do in different ways, but right now the internet is so prevalent and social media that it just gets a lot more attention because they're reaching a wider audience. But I actually don't think the amount of complaining has changed. I think that different generations complained about different things. And some of those complaints really effected positive change, such as women not being in charge of their finances. It astounds me that in my lifetime, it switched from a woman not being able to have a credit card, not being able to buy a house on her own, to me not even thinking about buying a house on my own. And so those complaints were very effective.

They sure were effective. The verb form of effective is to effect, and we heard this in this lovely collocation to effect change. Curiously, effect in this case begins with an e, rather than the usual a, and means to cause something to happen, so to effect change means to cause change to happen. Another example would be, we were able to effect a rescue despite the bad weather, or the global superpower was hoping to effect a smooth transition of power in the smaller country. The verb affect, with an a, on the other hand means to influence something, like the bad weather affected our ability to rescue the people, that verb form is definitely more common, but I like this effect one a lot, really nice.

One that is not quite as common, but really useful is to astound. She said it astounds me how much it has changed. Astounds is like amazes, it really surprises me. It also makes a fantastic adjective, astounding. Like, it was astounding how rude the waiters were, I’m going to complain. Or the performance of the lead actress was astounding.  

Do you think people today complain more than previous generations? 

I think social media and the keyboard warrior has brought complaining to a whole new sphere. In terms of before, you had ould lads giving out in the bar, whereas now you got some lad, putting it on Twitter or X, whatever. The audience is wider for people to complain, some people just complain about anything anyway.

They sure do. As he said, the keyboard warrior has brought complaining to a whole new sphere, meaning a whole new level. A keyboard warrior is someone who complains a lot on social media, well probably more than complain, they often post aggressive or abusive comments about other people online, things they wouldn’t dare say to the person face-to-face. An example sentence would be, being a celebrity, she has to put up with a lot of nonsense from keyboard warriors. 

We had another way to talk about complaining too, he said in the past you had old lads giving out in the bar. This is Irish English, to give out. Another example is, my mother is always giving out to me for not tidying up my clothes. Then, in order to contrast with how people complain now he used our old friend whereas, whereas now you have some old lad posting on X. Super important connector that one, for contrasting things.

Do you consider yourself someone who complains often or do you usually stay quiet?

I don't think complaining is extremely useful unless you have a solution or a plan to do something about it. So I could have, and also like my leadership style is very, it's my responsibility if it's my team. If that employee is not doing what they need to be doing, that's not on them, it's on me. How have I not inspired that person to do what they want to do? What is missing? Why are they failing? If I don't know those answers, then it's my fault. So complaining, it will be more like, I have overbooked to myself today. I am exhausted. I'm tired of working. I just want to sit down. I have too much work on my plate. But it's just, it's a vent, not so much as a complaint. It's like, oh, it's going to be rough. And at the back end, I'll be like, but you know what? December 21, everything's going to shut down for a good two, three weeks and I'm going to be golden. So I'm looking forward to that. And I'm going to try not to do that next year, which I say pretty much every year. But I'm complaining mostly because something's not working for me. Like, Oh, my friend did this. So instead of saying, Oh, I'm so mad at Jessica. Jessica is the other person I use. I'm so mad at Jessica. She did blah, blah, blah, blah. Why am I complaining about it? I need to go talk to Jessica. 

What a good attitude. She said that if her employees are not doing what they need to do then it’s on her, not on them. This means it is her responsibility, not theirs. Like, hey it’s on me to sort this problem out, you relax. Similarly, you could say lunch is on me. Meaning, I’ll pay for lunch. Speaking of lunch, she said sometimes she has too much work on her plate. Ok, she doesn’t have a physical plate here, but her metaphorical plate is full of work so she can’t take on any more. So someone might say to their psychologist, I’ve been so stressed recently, I’ve had a lot on my plate.

But as she said this isn’t really a complaint, it’s more of a vent. A vent is an opening that lets gas or air in or out of a space. In this case, however, to vent is to let out your emotions, usually anger or frustration. Like, on Friday afternoon many workers meet up for a drink and vent their frustrations about the weeks work. Or, Lucy pretended to listen while her boyfriend was venting about his boss..

Then we had couple of contrasting adjectives. One was that the end of the year was going to be rough, meaning difficult or challenging, and the other was that once her holiday starts everything would be golden, which, of course, means wonderful or fantastic. Actually, when she was talking about the end of the year she used this expression, at the back end. That was new to me, from the context I think it’s easy to work out, and another example would be we do most of our business at the back end of the year. 

What is something people often complain about these days?

Too many questions on podcasts.

Ok, ok, I get the message. No more questions today guys. Let’s call it a day. 

I hope you enjoyed that episode and aren’t too disgruntled by the abrupt ending. If you would like to vent, or to leave a more complimentary comment, you can do that on Spotify or on your podcast player, or you can also drop me a message on Instagram or Facebook. Until next time, take care.

Trevor